3 AM

Its 3 AM and I still can’t close my eyes. Weird. Recently I was able to manage my time. I used to stay up late, doing nothing but browsing or chatting. But currently I realized that staying up so late could ruin your body metabolism. When you get up in the morning, you will feel much more tired eventhough you had a well sleep.

Since I graduated from college, I think I then fully aware about my ‘freedom’. This bad habit has been going on for more than 2 years. And really, I can’t stand it anymore. Plus I am an active smoker. So it absolutely adds more pain to my lazy body.

And why am I still awake till 3 AM ? Hmmm, i don’t know. Maybe I’ve been through a rough day (I spent my time cooking today), alone (my bf called and texted me zillion times today), borring (i watched funny movie!), or what else ? Hhhh.. I am not so sure.

Then all I can do now is trying to recall my memory. What has happened to me during this week ? Shouldn’t I have to be in Copenhagen now attending the climate change conference ? What’s the positive and negative thing appeared to me in my first day of this week ? Then I keep recalling and calculating all the “week-karma” !

Honestly, I am so glad to be here in my hometown where I supposed to be in Copenhagen. I can have at least some little time for me and myself. I can be more relax and do whatever things I wanted to do in my sphere times. This is the time I realized that i think since a month ago, I made a distance with people arond me. Not too close, yet not too far.

My life has been fully attached to people. I gave my time, attention, skills, ideas, etc to serve people needs. Not that its not a good idea, but sometimes I feel tired of being people’s “servant”. I don’t think I have an obligation to fullfill everyone’s needs. I don’t have any obligation too to make them feel satisfy or happy. I don’t think you should be responsible for someone’s happiness. No. Just you and yourself. Its the only long lasting relationship you could find in this world.

So, yes. I am happy for everything that I’ve decided. Making a distance for a while from life’s drama. Having a silent moment with me and myself. Rethinking about the world. Just like what I am doing now, here in my bed, at 3 AM.

Rambling Rambling

Guess what ! I am in the middle of Jakarta’s traffic, people! Haha.. Yes, i am stuck in the middle of melawai street where at the same time, I need to rush to Pejaten Village. For what ? Shopping ? Chatting ? Hm, nope! In order to improve my ability in English, I enrolled with EF. Oh, sh*t! There’s Metro Mini right beside my car, trying to block my way! Bloody Metro Mini!

Ok, back to the english thing, well I think I should be more serious and focus about it. I am now working at international organization, and there’s no way my english like people from remote area. So hopefully, I can pass this english matter and would be able to speak, both oral and written.

Btw, I am testing my WordPress for Blackberry. Hm I know that I’ve been so indecissive regarding what kind of handheld will suit me best. I am such an internet addict! I spend most of my sphere times in surfing, browsing, chatting, googling, facebooking, you name it ! So that certain hendhald should provide me with the best internet technology an yet easy to carry. Reason number two, I do like writting things. That’s why I signed up for this wordpress, right ? ;p. Then, the handheld should also have the best and comfortable writting tools and applications, and of course (again!) easy to carry.

So here I am! With my Blackberry and mobile wordpress ! Oh, I am so excited! In the future, i can be more productive in wrtting with this mobile wordpress !

Ups! I am late for the class. C ya!